It took me a little over 2 years, but it is finally done. My first poetry book is published. Thank you to everyone that helped in the process of this book. All poems and images are made by me.
Link: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-words-ive-never-gotten-to-say-nathan-kovacs/1137595649?ean=9780578761916
I love sitting with you and talking. I will see you in the cafe and decide to sit with you. We will have a little chat until we get on the topic of traveling and that's when our little talk turns into an epic journey of knowing how we tick. As each sentence flows back and forward, the minutes pass by until it just us. We've talked for so long that we must leave because it is now 8:30pm and the cafe closed at 7pm. We'll go outside and talk for a little more; astounded by each other's similarities and love for life. When it is time for us to depart, we'll close our thoughts with a big hug and a promise to see each other again.
Remember the time where I would visit your dorm room just to borrow a knife so that I could cut my papaya. I didn't really need one; I had one. I just wanted to see your face and hear your voice. You make me genuinely smile.
However, you don't remember, why would you? All you remember is that a boy came over to borrow a knife so that he could cut his fruit.
You'll consume my heart. Then we'll laugh; we'll talk. And in the end, we'll go our separate ways.
I wish that I can change the constellations because if I can’t see the dipper, I won’t think of you.
I was sad and a little broken when I met you.
But you blew my heart away.
I was drowning.
I was reaching.
You were at arm’s length when you were dancing along the water's edge
You didn’t drag me out and I didn’t want to pull you in.
So, I sat.
So, I waited.
And when you left, I dreamt of a different world where we were together, far from this endless ocean, running through the fields of flowers to a life worth living.
If you can spare just a moment of your time to just listen to the words I tell you. I don't want you to reply or challenge what I'm about to say, just let the words soak into your thoughts. I must tell you the most important thing about the world and life around you. I learned that it could be summarized into two words; let go.
Let go of all the materials that bound your soul to one spot. They are meaningless. It's the moments that you remember that keep the happiness alive, and the thrill of a new experience.
Let go of all the emotions that chain you to the past. The world only moves forward. Relish in the moment. Let you gander at its beauty. Why would you ever clutch a star so hard it turns to dust.
Let go of the expectations that creates the iron bars on your cell. Be free. Let you change and evolve, grow and experience. Let your life be an epoch titled "The Redemption of the Soul".
Don't hold on, be free. Let the grains of sand slip through fingers; let the wind flow through your hair; for nothing is permanent. Enjoy the moment and always strive for an endless horizon.
Energy is not created nor destroyed, it's in a constant flow. You can't hold on to something that doesn't cease. The law of life is to let go.
She is always looking ahead, to see what’s beyond the bend.
If only she knew that I’m behind her, admiring every moment with her.
Her smile is something worthwhile.
For her light shines with all her might.
Sorry this prose is not a rose.
But I must tell, elle fait la belle.
We have this fire, you and I.
The possibilities are endless when I’m with you.
We could gather the stars and hear them whisper stories of love.
We could sing to the wild around the campfire.
We could dance among the fireflies, just like the mountain breeze.
Our light may twinkle, but it will never cease.
Sometimes you don't see colors, you feel them.
And right now, your emotions are glowing rainbows in the night.
If you can spare just a moment of your time to just listen to the words I tell you. I don't want you to reply or challenge what I'm about to say, just let the words soak into your thoughts. It is important for me to tell you the most important thing about the world and life around you. I learned that it could be summarized into two words; let go.
Let go of all the materials that bound your soul to one spot. They are meaningless. It's the moments that you remember that keep the happiness alive, and the thrill of a new experience.
Let go of all the emotions that chain you to the past. The world only moves forward. Relish in the moment. Let you gander at its beauty. Why would you ever clutch a star so hard it turns to dust.
Let go of the expectations that creates the iron bars on your cell. Be free. Let you change and evolve, grow and experience. Let your life be an epoch titled "The Redemption of the Soul".
Don't hold on, be free. Let the grains of sand slip through fingers; let the wind flow through your hair; for nothing is permanent. Enjoy the moment and always strive for endless horizon.
Energy is not created nor destroyed, it's in a constant flow. You can't hold on to something that doesn't cease. The law of life is to let go.
Be silent
Be still
Your thoughts might spill
Once more into the fray
May it end, leaving nothing astray
“Are you here?” she said as she snapped her fingers in front of his eyes.
She was talking about her trip to the store when he tuned out. He was no longer here. He was in a different time and place that wasn't on this world. A casual customer to the dream he created when they first started dating. The dream that didn't happen that couldn't happen. The freedom of traveling the world together, gone. They are living a dull life.
And all you could hear in response was a small exhale hiding the whisper, “how did we get here?”
Every piece of this world is connected. To the greater extent, everything you can do or can’t do has its implications. The universe is a calm body of water, where even if you are the smallest pebble, can still make a ripple. Be mindful. Be present. What life is, I do not know, nor dare to understand. Nature has its ways; where, even the smallest strata matters.
Who am I?
“I hardly know.”
I look at myself every day and I see a new face, a new combination of the strata.
It seems strange that the only thing constant is my lust for freedom.
Because, well, “Who am I?”
…
…
I am everything.
It’s moments like this.
When I look at you,
And you look back.
We’re both here,
In an endless gaze.
No words,
Just raw emotion.
Beauty doesn’t define her.
She is everything;
The sunset skies,
The feeling of warm hot chocolate on a snowy day,
And the magnificent sight of a blood moon.
She is the spectacular,
And society could never define her,
In this…
Or any life.
March 5, 2019
Recently I have only been shooting in film, but I am making a lot of progress on my black and white film photography page. Here is one photo that I love so much. I have been asking some of my friends to model for this poetry book. You can see some of my latest pictures now! I really enjoy taking pictures in film because it creates this raw, dream-like image that provides a great medium for a lot of my poetry:
She is Nature. Which leads me to believe that I know every little fiber of what her botanical heart can do, but she proves me wrong every time; she emits the love of life like no other being.
I have some more black and white photos developing now. Also, I promise to post some more digital photos too. Thank you and don’t forget to love yourself
February 14, 2019
Hello Everyone! I just got my film pictures from my Costa Rica Trip. You can check them out on the new Color Film page on the website. Thank you for all the support and stay wild!
February 3, 2019
Costa Rica was an amazing experience! I got to live off the grid and learn how to do permaculture on a yoga farm. In the morning I did yoga then had a permaculture class where I learned about planting, soil, building, and the ethics. Each afternoon consisted of a different activity like hiking, going to the beach, visiting the Guaymi people, and helping the sea turtle conservation group. I took advantage of all of these opportunities by always having a camera on hand. This trip built upon my environmental awareness. It is one thing reading it in my books while I’m sitting in my many environmental studies classes and it’s another actually being present and seeing and feeling the Nature around you. One thing that I noticed around Costa Rica is the palm oil farms and you know me, I wrote a poem about it…
Diversity Scalped as palm trees were stripped of their identity and lined up like soldiers; only referred as a number. Not to be confused with a city palm, the Nature and wildness still lurked within the fibers and fronds. Their cries seek revolution against the conformity of man’s society; knowing souly that “the line of beauty is a curve”. These can only be heard by the ones that deem it unjust and wouldn’t harm the earth for a puddle of oil.
I decided to write a poem about this because diversity is very important to the ecology of the rain forest. The fact that the world needs these plantations of palm trees for palm oil which is in a lot of our products makes me sick. If only we farmed with the ethics of permaculture; where we can give more to the Earth than we take.